The Voice - Season 2

We are currently spoilt for choice when it comes to reality singing contests.  First American Idol Season 11 on M-Net and now increasingly popular, The Voice on SABC3.  Whilst this is hardly likely to mimic the ratings battle that these two shows are embroiled in in America, it certainly is a coup for SABC3 to air such a successful show so close on the heals of the original broadcast. A coup you'd think they'd be quite proud of and willing to show off.

So imagine our surprise when we noticed that the DSTV program guide describes the show as follows:

"A journey through the greatest vocal talents the world has ever heard.  The series combines classic archive, rare footage, unique performances and exclusive interviews with a legion of legends, from Pavarotti to Bono."

Is someone confusing the dearly departed Pavarotti with Cee Lo Green? Or do they just not know any better? Or care? After all, who watches TV anyway, eh?

The Voice airs on SABC3 on Wednesdays at 20h00.

Piranha 3D

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...

Piranha 3D is B grade comedy horror at its finest. Starring Steven R McQueen (yes, that's Elena's troubled younger brother Jeremy from Vampire Diaries), Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O'Connell and various other hasbeens, this remake of a 1978 classic makes no bones of the fact that it is about two things only: sex and violence.  Featuring excessive nudity and numerous uncomfortably bloated bosoms, let's just say that once our hungry protagonists sink their teeth into the beauties, there is more than blood in the water.

The story is juvenile, formulaic and down right silly,  but executed with such gleeful delight that it just sweeps you along.  An earthquake releases prehistoric super piranhas from an underground cavern into a lake in middle America just as 20 000 drunken daylight partying students decend on the same lake for their spring break. Yes, there are lots of warnings, and no, they don't listen.  The end result is about 15 minutes of hilarious campy horror delight when the students become the buffet en masse, culminating in the most epic scene filmed with an outboard engine ever.

There is talk of a direct to DVD sequel being released soon.  Apparently the nibbly little critters find their way into the town's plumbing and cause havoc in swimming pools, bathtubs and toilets. Awesome.

Watch out for Piranha 3D on M-Net this month.

American Idol - Season 11

They're back!  The most successful incarnation of the Idols franchise ever.  You know, the one where the radio personality is the host instead of a judge, where the judges are mostly sober and the contestants have stylists. Oh, and talent.

American Idol Season 11 started off with a bang when Steven Tyler told a proud father that his 15 year old daughter is "hot, humid and happening". From there it was downhill as stiff ratings competition from The Voice drove the producers to shameless exploitation of collapsing and vomiting children during Hollywood week.  With the final 24 announced and the creepy kid with the cowboy hat safely home, we can now finally take the PVR off fast forward and actually start watching the show.

So, who do we love, who will win and who needs to go home? Now!

Of the many Adele wannabe's this year, one stands out: Jen Hirsh.  Jazzy, rich and chunky, this young lady has proven that she doesn't just eat like Adele, she can howl like her too.

The best personality of 2011 has to go to the hilarious Asian anti-hero Heejun Han. When asked by Ryan what he's sweating, he replied: "Mostly water."  If he didn't burst into tears at critical moments, we would honestly have thought he was the first professional Idol troll.

Our winner for 2011 is the charming pawn shop employee with the constipated voice, Phill Phillips.  Not the best vocals, but the most unique. Definitely the best smile though.  

         VS

Most reviled is a tie between Brielle von Hugul's repulsive boozy stage  mother and the utterly contrived Colton Dixon, who is way too cool to audition (and eat, apparently.) 

American Idol Season 11 is on M-Net on Saturdays at 18h00 and Sunday afternoons.