Come Dine With Me SA: Celebrity Edition

Only the brave or the stupid will cook and entertain with the Come Dine With Me cameras over their shoulders and fortunately for us, it is usually the latter.  Add some attention starved SA celebrities to the mix and it promises to be a kitchen disaster of epic proportions.  Sadly, it's not.

This particular format of Come Dine With Me follows four contestants, each hosting their own dinner party that is attended and scored by their competitors.  A tightrope act at the best of times, contestants have to manage making three exceptional courses and keeping their guests entertained, whilst maintaining enough likability to win the votes of their direct competitors.  Given differences in personal taste, rivalries and alcohol fuelled conflict, the outcome is sometimes quite random and unexpected.

Contestants are usually shamelessly selected based on their incompatibility and subjected to horrific social torture and personal humiliation for our viewing delight. Not least of which is the scathing trade mark running commentary of narrator Dave Lamb. Hilariously funny and often almost too painful to watch, Come Dine With Me is a reality television masterpiece.  Come Dine With Me SA has been particularly successful, proving once and for all that South Africans are not too dull and polite to make for good reality television.


Those are the real South Africans though, because despite all the press, this celebrity episode is a big let down.  The celebs in question are pretty ladies Shashi Naidoo and Ashley Hayden, and sports presenter Neil Andrews, who is dwarfed by the final contestant, made for radio Sam Cowen. Neil proves that not all celebrities know one another, even if they feel obliged to pretend that they do.

Sashi is sweet and likable and totally unfazed by Neil, acting like a complete idiot, spewing a slew of lame jokes that only celebrities can fake a laugh at.  She dishes up Asian inspired store bought food that is served up stylishly and she entertains effortlessly. Her mean chocolate mouse pushes her into an early lead.

Ashley plans an outrageously pretentious Italian menu, but proves to be quite the cook. She churns out chocolate cakes, frozen mousse, stuffed home made pasta rolls and an assortment of anti pasti and presents a faultless evening.

Neil brings up the rear with a menu that not even Shashi’s dog is interested in.  In true South African style, he makes a dessert with condensed milk. He roasts two chickens and serves a cold liquidised mess for a starter that Shashi struggles to keep down.  The best compliment the ladies can muster is that his food is nutritious, although his dessert surprises in the end.

Sam cheats shamelessly, marks Ashley’s stunning meal down and awards top marks to Neil’s amateurish slop.  When it’s her turn, she serves up a beige menu of homey chicken meat balls, pork fillet with nuts and some more condensed milk laden desserts. If only she spent as much time planning a proper menu as she clearly did plotting to bring down her competition...

Ultimately justice prevails: boring cook and cheat Sam comes a well deserved last, actually trumped by boorish Neil, who is in third place, ironically because Sam herself boosted his score. That's karma for you. Absolute sweetheart Shashi comes second and Ashley takes a deserving win.

Certainly the dullest episode of Come Dine With Me SA so far and a disappointing end to a brilliant season.  The celebrities mostly avoided the alcohol and expertly kept the bright side up.  Definitely not worth all the fuss, although it does make one wonder what on earth is up with us South Africans and the condensed milk.

Come Dine With Me SA concluded on Wednesday 14 December 2011 on BBC Entertainment at 21h00.