Dwarf sex. Gratuitous dwarf sex. So good, it won the 1.3m Peter Dinklage an Emmy. And a full sized one at that. Well deserved too, because his Tyrion Lannister is the crowning glory of a truly remarkable show.
Even though M-Net initially categorised it as a crime drama, Game of Thrones, based on the “A Song of Ice and Fire” series by George RR Martin, is actually medieval fantasy. Yes, the dreaded f-word. But no, there are no hobbits or lightning spouting wizards. Nothing to stretch the imagination of the average South African too far. Just violence and sex and scandal and incest and nudity and betrayal. You know, the good stuff.
Playing more like a political period drama in some unknown location than fantasy, Game of Thrones chronicles the ultimately futile struggles of four Houses (Stark, Lannister, Baratheon and Targaryen) for the Iron Throne of Westeros.
Last week the battle between the Starks and the Lannisters came to a dramatic head with the capture of Jaime Lannister (twin brother and occassional booty call of Queen Regent Cersei Lannister) by the forces of Robb Stark, and the shocking beheading of Robb's father, the honourable Eddard "Ned" Stark, at the command of the young brat King Joffrey.
In a crowded season finale, stuffed with some tongue pulling, vicarious girlfriend bashing, incest, nudity, torture and geriatric sex, Ned's wife and children have to come to terms with his gruesome death. Arya becomes the boy she was always destined to be and Sansa, the love interest of the twisted Joffrey, starts showing the first signs of actually having a Stark backbone. Robb tries to chop down trees with his sword and is proclaimed King of the North. Ned's bastard son, Jon Snow, has a crisis of faith and sets off to learn the truth of what is behind The Wall. On the Lannister side of things, Tyrion finally gets some recognition from his father, Tywin, and is appointed as the new Hand of the King, hopefully for some more epic Joffrey slapping. (It is called the Hand of the King for a reason after all.)
But the season finale belongs to young exiled Daenerys Targaryen, played by newcomer Emilia Clarke with great aplomb. Sold into sexual slavery to warlord Khal Drogo by her own brother - the deliciously insane Viserys - to drum up military support for his bid for the Iron Throne, she grew from a pitiful vacuous victim to a courageous horse heart devouring young woman, earning the love of Drogo and his people. In the previous episode it seemed all was lost, as Drogo was dying and his horde was turning against her, refusing to accept the authority of a woman. Tonight we discover what really transpired in the tent when the witch unleashed the blood magic - buckets and buckets full of it. Drogo survived but is vegetative. Daenerys' son, the so called stallion that would mount the world, was born dead and deformed. The horde has left them in disgust. All is indeed lost. In despair she smothers her veggy hubby with a pillow and erects a mighty funeral pire in the dark of night. She adds a witch and some old dragon eggs for extra combustion, and for final emphasis marches into the flames herself.
Fade to black.
It's the crack of dawn. She arises from the ashes. Butt naked but unscathed, a dirty Venus de Milo, with three newly hatched baby dragons clinging to her protectively. Making an awful racket. She might not be leading a horde anymore, but she seems pretty determined and scary bad ass all of a sudden.
The End.
Very seldom has television delivered epic this well. Out of character perhaps, but I cannot say a single bad thing about this show. Season two is already in production and viewers should not be concerned that they will run out of material. Season one was based on the first of five books, also named Game of Thrones. Two more books are in the pipeline as well, so by all accounts, there is enough for seven seasons. Whatever you do, make sure you watch this show. And remember, Winter is coming!
Game of Thrones is on M-Net at 21h30 on Monday nights. The first season concluded on 28 November 2011.
Milesandre of Asshia is a priestess on the island stronghold of Dragonstone. Possibly only the second character in Game of Thrones with supernatural abilities (after fire walking Daenerys, of course), she very quickly establishes herself as a formidable and downright scary presence. (Fans of the show should keep a close eye on her necklace when she drinks from the poisoned chalice!) 
In a crowded season finale, stuffed with some tongue pulling, vicarious girlfriend bashing, incest, nudity, torture and geriatric sex, Ned's wife and children have to come to terms with his gruesome death. Arya becomes the boy she was always destined to be and Sansa, the love interest of the twisted Joffrey, starts showing the first signs of actually having a Stark backbone. Robb tries to chop down trees with his sword and is proclaimed King of the North. Ned's bastard son, Jon Snow, has a crisis of faith and sets off to learn the truth of what is behind The Wall. On the Lannister side of things, Tyrion finally gets some recognition from his father, Tywin, and is appointed as the new Hand of the King, hopefully for some more epic Joffrey slapping. (It is called the Hand of the King for a reason after all.)