As if it is not enough that Jennifer Lopez sits on the American Idol judges panel spewing meaningless drivel and laughing like a drain at the end of each inane comment, tonight she gets onto the stage in a skimpy outfit and gets pawed by her hunky boy toy and dancer, Casper Smart.
Obviously now deeming the ratings for Idol sufficient for her to grace the stage, J-Lo dons a sparkly leotard and accompanied by half a dozen half naked male dancers, writhes and rubs her way through her new hit "Dance Again". The vocals are blatantly pre-recorded, but with all the stomping and wriggling, no one will probably notice. Towards the end, she ditches the microphone and dances a breathlessly risque duet with a bulging Smart, before launching back into the finale of how she "loves to make love to you, baby". Delightfully inappropriate, J-Lo seems intent on proving that she is not just an annoying prattling fool, but an ageing sexed-up show off as well.
American Idol airs on M-Net on Saturdays and Sundays at 18h00
Later tonight J-Lo slithers back onto our screens in the outrageously corny blast from the past horror movie Anaconda - where another bulging reptile wants to rap itself around her and eat her whole. This time the offender is a considerably more charming gargantuan CGI anaconda. Of course she coyly screams and runs - much like an infatuated 11 year old school girl running from her crush - before she eventually, in true J-Lo style, turns on the poor creature and blows it to pieces.
A camp throbbing mess, watch out for the delightfully prophetic moment where J-Lo's character - a first time movie director - bemoans her fate and proclaims that "I thought this movie would be my first big break. Instead, it's turned into a disaster."
Anaconda airs on e.tv tonight at 20h00
